Praying Endlessly for God’s Direction

For a few months leading up to our move there were so many things we prayed about; needing to know God’s guidance. Natural gas in Arkansas was slowing down and Nick’s clients started operating out of the state. Nick’s company knew that our hearts were set on staying close to home. Late summer, Nick was given the opportunity to manage Arkansas, East Texas and North Louisiana. Nick would spend 3 days a week out of state and home for two days plus the weekend. This setup seemed ideal, because it meant we didn’t have to leave so many we love behind. After a few months of doing this, Nick realized this wasn’t something he was 100% happy with. Those areas were not producing very much and the feeling of not being very profitable for his company soon laid heavy on his heart. This opportunity to work all 3 of those districts was offered to Nick so his company could keep him on board. It was totally to Nick’s advantage, but didn’t really benefit his company. Knowing that his company was stepping out of the box for him, we both felt led to be more open to change. We were beyond blessed that Nick had this opportunity, but it led us to more nights crying out to God what should we do, what’s the best for our future.  Nick had been offered a position in the past to go to Minot, North Dakota and over a year ago, San Antonio, TX. At this time the only option was North Dakota. How do you make a decision to stay close to home in your comfort zone or move 20 hours away, or switch careers completely. It was a decision we couldn’t make on our own. (If you know us well, neither one of us like to make decisions). We needed God’s clear direction and a whole lot of faith! Moving to North Dakota obviously had it’s financial advantages, but Nick and I didn’t want to make a decision based off money, because, honestly, money isn’t everything. We wanted to be where God wants us to be. For several weeks we kept this to ourselves and prayed for an answer on what to do. We would go to church on Sunday’s and secretly cry our eyes out as the praise and worship band played. Every song seemed to hit our situation every time and it was such a wake up call. In our eyes we needed an answer soon. As we all know though, everything is in God’s timing. It’s so hard sometimes to understand that when you are in the moment. I will never forget the day Nick told me he had setup a meeting with the VP of Sales for his company to discuss his future. My heart was racing and I had a billion of my reporter questions going through my head. All I could do though was pray for Nick and pray that God had his hand in the meeting. Nick is so laid back, he doesn’t really do things like this. Nick had told me he had a list of questions written down in his notebook. He needed all those questions he wrote down answered,  so he could at least get closer to making a decision on his future. In my heart I was scared to death. I was so worried about the what if’s and that Nick’s questions might be impossible to get answered. The next day approached for Nick’s meeting. I talked with Nick right before the meeting and let him go so he could spend some time in prayer in his truck before he went in to the meeting. Two and half hours later (after I have stuffed everything possible in my mouth because of nerves and paced the floor a billion times) I recieved the first of two phone calls that have changed our lives this year. As I picked up the phone and said hello my heart was racing so hard. “How did it go babe?”, I asked. Nick calmly said we are moving to North Dakota and I am confident it’s all in God’s plan. In my head I am silently thinking, WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!  I then calmly respond by asking him to explain a little more please. Nick then goes on to say that first off he surprised his bosses because they all thought he was going to quit, so they had been pondering on what they needed to do to keep him on. Nick said he went on to insure them he truly has his heart with this company and just needed clarity on several things before he could make a decision on his future. Nick then said from that point on he knew God had his hand in this meeting. Nick never once had to mention one of the long lists of questions he had to his bosses. It was like an automatic checklist they were going through answering with all the right answers to the questions he had prayed so long about. This gave me chills quite honestly. To know that Nick felt led to make this move and most importantly he was 100% confident this decision was all in God’s plan.  Sometimes you have to take a huge leap of faith for God to open doors for you. The door for us at this time just “started”to open.

Several days went by of me steadily stressing.  How I would break this to my family, friends and also how this all was going to play out. I am a super schedule/planner/researcher and to not know anything coming up is a little overwhelming to me. 

Nick’s company wanted to make sure he was confident in his decision, so they sent him to North Dakota to work for a couple weeks before we officially moved. What a long two weeks this was for us apart. So much went on during this time. Letting our family and friends know, putting our house on the market for sale and lots of research on my part learning and planning more for our soon to be new home. As the two weeks winded down Nick flew back home. At this point our heads are still spinning, focusing on our next steps while trying to take this huge move in. We knew this was a career move for Nick and a decision we felt confident in, but how do you sleep at night knowing you are moving to North Dakota! lol!!  Over the next few weeks we began packing things up for the big move. Since finding housing is such a HUGE issue in North Dakota, Nick’s company was providing us with a fully furnished house. With most of the furniture provided we honestly didn’t need to move everything we own, because we would have to store so much. Also, to be completely honest, I just couldn’t wrap my head around leaving our little perfect house we have called “home” for 3 years so fast. I was super worried about all our stuff we have worked so hard to have, the logistics of getting it there and then storing it. We opted, instead of having Nick’s company pay a moving company to pack and move all our stuff, to do it ourselves and have them reimburse us. In our eyes, we were thinking this would give us more control on what items we took to North Dakota and where we stored them. We would also be able to leave a lot of un-needed furniture at home in Arkansas this way. So what do we do…. Hit up the nearest U-Haul place and rent the smallest truck we can fit 3 people in. I did my research on this and knew we had to find a truck that would fit a car seat and also allow for one of the seats to have an option to turn the air bag off since Dawson wouldn’t reach the weight limit. We locate this fabulous new style U-Haul truck about 25 minutes away. As I follow Nick back to Searcy, every emotion possible is going through my head. We were 24 hours away from our journey to the cold North, far, far away from our friends we see almost daily, our family and the church we have grown to love so much. With me being super shy, we both knew this move was going to be hard on me. I have a hard time breaking out of my shell and meeting new people. I just get so nervous and knowing that my security blankets (Best Friends) were not going to be with me was frightening. Nick is the best knowing how I am and making things so much better in large crowds, but what would I do when I try to meet new girlfriends etc.? As the sun rose the next morning so did we. Nick’s mom, my dad, my sister and nieces all came over to help. What a bittersweet moment it all was, loading up boxes, visiting with family and steadily trying to ensure Dawson that everything was ok. Dawson was so nervous and continuously insisted everything he owned needed to go in the U-Haul so he wouldn’t lose it. My sister, Shasta worked hard on keeping Dawson distracted from what was going on. Shasta and my nieces have a special bond with Dawson. It’s like his extra mommy and sisters he never had. (My sister is so amazing, I don’t know anyone else who could have kept my sweet boy who suffered from colic and severe reflux from 13 weeks to 10 months old during the day while Nick and I worked.) Tears were secretly flying everywhere and it was so hard to hold it together as we loaded box after box. Watching Dawson play with the girls in the front yard and knowing what the future holds broke my heart. Dawson begs to go to his Shae-Shae’s every week. Her house is so much more fun than home in his eyes. We see them so often and how could I imagine Dawson without his so called two sisters, my nieces Lilly & Lolo? My dad was such a trooper being his bossy self all while I would see him tearing up off and on. Nick’s mom was very gracious as well to come help us get things together and loaded up. I wasn’t very motivated that day and she was able to put her emotions to the side that day and be a drill sergeant on making sure we got everything we needed done. I am so thankful for her actions or I would have not loaded one box. lol! Although Dawson and I were coming back home to Searcy in 2 weeks, packing up the U-haul was a reality check to every single one of us. After we got everything packed into the U-Haul and about to call it a night, our sweet long time best friends who live about 5 houses down the street, came over to visit. Nick and I truly felt God led us to Searcy from Cabot at the right time (God’s timing), a time that was heartbreak for our sweet friends as they grieved the loss of a child. To be in Searcy and by their side during those times have been the biggest blessings to us. They have taught us so much about having Faith. You never know how much friends are just like your family until times like this. We have always called them family, but moving away hits home. For two years the sweetest little 2 year old girl, who we love like our own, has walked into our house a thousand times and always made our day. This sweet little girl is who Dawson calls his best friend and loves to argue with like a sister. It broke my heart knowing she is simply too young to understand any time soon what’s really happening. What is she going to think when she strolls down the street and can’t come knock on our door? (and run straight to our snack drawer.) What is Dawson going to do when he begs to ride his bike to go visit her? Tears rolled down my eyes, as I squeezed her for what seemed like at that moment the last time for a long while.  Her parents are who we often look to get guidance from and always have us covered and taken care of. Whether it’s tailgating, trips to the beach, tornadoes, cookouts or sickness we know when we need or forget something our best friends have us covered. They know us too well. As they left out the doors through the garage that night, all Nick and I could do was hug each other and cry. It was the biggest slap in the face of reality. We had both been so strong for several weeks, but what an emotional overload that day was. This is when we knew the only way to make it through this point forward was to walk every step in faith. Every time we question anything we are reminded God has a plan, and everyday he is showing us the path.   

As I wrap up our first journey on this wild blessed adventure, I hope I leave you with knowing that in times of doubt always know God is there. Always know he has a plan. It might not be the ideal situation as in our case, but living and walking in his plan will be more rewarding in the long run.   

I promise in the next post to not leave you hanging. 🙂  More on how we ended up changing calling our “new” home 1 hour from the Canadian border to 1 hour from the Mexican border.  Craziness!!!




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