Seeing the truth through a toddlers eyes

Wow, how time is flying by! It does not seem that we have been in San Antonio already for 6 weeks. I have to give so much PRAISE to God for how smooth this big change in our life has been. We miss our family and friends more than words can express, but we are honestly handling things so much better than we ever imagined. Every day we spend here we feel more and more convinced that God has a bigger plan for us in San Antonio and that’s why he is blessing in so many ways!

It’s been a while since my last post, because, let’s face it, my life is crazy busy! I don’t know if I have mentioned directly before in a post, but all through our crazy journey to San Antonio I have been working from home (or at some times during this journey from Starbucks, McDonalds, truck stops, in a U-Haul truck hacking wifi from a random business or  hotels) as the production coordinator / media buyer for an advertising company back home. I know I am completely crazy because it’s not like my life is insane enough right?! I actually enjoy my job!  I have come to realize lately though the challenges of working from home. Because I am a workaholic, I have a hard time stopping until I have finished something I have started. So instead of working part-time, I end up working all the time.  I just can’t seem to stop working when I know there is more to do. Working from home is something I have always wanted to do, so I can spend more time with Dawson. I am beyond blessed that I have the opportunity. I am just now trying to train myself to stop working so much and also feel like it’s ok to get on my computer and not do work. I went through a phase recently where I would hide my lap top because if I looked at it, I felt like I couldn’t do anything, but work. That is why I haven’t blogged in a few weeks. I guess the biggest slap in the face of all this was what Dawson recently told me which has been a deal breaker. Dawson said, “Mom your grounded from your computer because all you do is work, please play with me.” WOW! I always thought my multi-tasking by playing cars, games, cooking, helping Dawson with school and working at the same time was ok. I always told myself I will play more in a minute. That minute turned into hours. What a wake up call it was by seeing the truth in the eyes of my 4 year old. I don’t want to teach him what I am doing is ok.  Spending time with family is the most important thing and there is no reason why I should feel the need to work 24/7. Everyday is getting easier to put the lap top away and walk away from work for a bit. I have always just been such a worry wart about work. I always want to give 110% and make sure I have everything done. I am working on accepting that giving 100% is ok and that everyone else walks away from work at 5pm so it’s ok for me to as well. I probably sound like an awful mom for totally admitting this. I promise my child gets so much love and attention. I just never realized that he picked up on how much I worked. I have always been the type of person that felt the need to accomplish so much and help out with all I can.God has taught me so much lately. The main thing I am focused on is how I can better serve God, bless others, be the best mom, wife, friend and raise the best child of God I can.

I know a lot of my family was a little worried about me moving here, not knowing anyone and then working from home. Which means I basically have no adult interaction, except when I greet Dawson’s teacher every Monday- Thursday at 9am and 2pm when I take and pick him up from school or when I see Nick before and after work. It’s been a little tough, but I have the most active best friend ever, Dawson! What a blessing it has been to spend everyday with him and be more of a hands on mom! I love it! He is best dose of medicine for home sickness! FaceTiming with family and friends has also been the best thing ever!! I honestly was so scared about how this all would work out when we moved and if I would have a hard time again staying at home. I think the age makes all the difference and the atmosphere. Plus of course God’s hand in it all. The weather is so great here in San Antonio so we are able to do so much outside, which makes us all happy, happy, happy!

One big thing that I believe God has taught me with dealing with all this, is that I have not failed myself or anyone. I have always put so much pressure on myself to achieve so many goals and to also have this amazing career in broadcast news.Which led myself to become a workaholic. For some silly reason the last time I stayed at home I struggled with being a failure and not providing for my family. A failure for, achieving my goal of graduating college, landing this amazing job as a news producer, working my way up, all to walk away from it to be a stay at home mom. I know I sound pretty crazy, but in all honesty that is how I felt. I am embarrassed I even thought that way. What is even more silly is I never thought of my best friends as failures who stayed at home, I always have worshiped the ground they walk on for being able to do that and love it. So why have I drove myself crazy for so long? I think it just came from the nature of my childhood. Being raised by a single mother and seeing my mother work so hard for everything to provide, it taught me so much. She was amazing, but I believe I have had the wrong understanding of it all. I have a wonderful husband who provides and I am not a failure no matter if I work or not. 🙂 I am so amazed now how God is touching my life, lifting me up and showing me there is so many other ways I can be successful for his kingdom.

San Antonio is truly a beautiful place and we are making the most of getting out several times a week  in spending time as a family. We have a great neighborhood with a park and lots of running trails. We have a loop we take that is 3.1 miles. We bought a new jogging stroller because our favorite bike/jogging trailer really couldn’t take the massive hills here. Dawson loves to run and is getting very good at it. Dawson is such a good motivator to me because when I see the hills ahead I tend to beg Nick to let me walk for a sec! Ha!  Dawson is gaining endurance and I am pretty sure he could run a mile straight right now. He runs most of the route and I normally push the empty stroller for when he needs to hop in for his so called “water/snack break”.

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Dawson starts soccer at the end of March and he is beyond excited to play on a team in a “real” game.

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Nick and I  have also done a few projects around the house lately in our down time after Dawson’s in bed. We love things like this and it keeps us sane by working on projects like these together. We saw a few of these things on pintrest and then turned the idea into our own.  We hope to break out the saws soon because I have a few frames I need to make, plus I am in need of a coffee table “Pinterest style”. There is a fabulous block of antique stores here in San Antonio we discovered. It was like a glimpse of heaven walking in this slightly sketchy place seeing old and vintage furniture stacked taller than our heads and as far as we could see. We purchased a beat up dresser (see before and after picture below) there and made it into a media cabinet for our down stairs living room. Then we have been working on coming up with “Our Family Rules” and what we want to instill in Dawson the most. So we made this chalkboard for the entry way when you come up stairs to the playroom and bedrooms.

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Dawson absolutely loves his school and we are so happy we found it. I should mention though we were not expecting his school curriculum to be so more advanced than back home. (His “school” is actually a church ran Mothers day out program that has an awesome curriculum.) Dawson truly takes learning to heart and is so dedicated. (Let’s pray he continues to be this way for the next 18 years….lol!)  He cried after his first day of school because he said, he missed a letter? Even though I knew it had to be something else, we practiced all his letters over and over that night. The next day we asked his teacher about it and she said he missed his vowels! WOW. We didn’t realize at 4 years old that he should already know his vowels? Let’s just say by the end of the week his teacher said he didn’t miss a one. Dawson was so dedicated to get them right and insisted on practicing every night. Now he is working on his sight words, spelling/sounding them out, writing them and building small sentences. The days of Nick and I trying to spell out words to keep from Dawson will soon be over I fear.

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Dawson was so happy he got a heart from a friend at school on Valentine’s Day.

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Dawson got a bug catching/spy gear set for Christmas. The set includes a bug net, bug vacuem etc… You can bet he’s going to be digging or trying to catch something he can inspect under his magnifying glass, whenever he gets a chance to go outside.

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I have so much more to share with you as this journey has opened our hearts so much. I promise to blog again real soon. I want to say thanks so much for  the texts, phone calls, facebook comments etc. about my blog. They make us feel so great.  I am so blessed to have you all in my life. I truly am honored, humbled and love that you enjoy to read about our journey!!! Sending lots of love your way!!




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